Like a Flat Fish

Question: Hey, boss. Wanted to ask you guys whether any of your players have ever played a PC of the opposite gender? If so, how did they role-play that character?

Question: Hey, John and friends! Just wanted to know whether any of your players have played a PC of the opposite sex in any of your games. If so, how did they manage it? Playing a PC's that's not the player's gender has always been kind of strange area in the games I've been in.

Question: Have any of your players ever played a character of the opposite gender?

We suspect that these may be the same person resubmitting the question a few times, which is totally our own fault - we've been meaning to answer it for a while, and in fact did answer it a while ago in that vlog that our computer ate, and then we put it off because we figured we'd bring in a guest blogger and everybody had life concerns that took up time. The upshot is that we apologize that this post took so long, but here it is, larger than life!

To start with, yes: while we don't usually encourage it because it so often causes players trouble, we have had one player play a PC of the opposite sex, and it was the fabulous Seph, who despite being a dude played psychotic little war machine Shanti. Since he was the guy actually doing the opposite-sex playing, we thought we'd invite him to do a little guest blogging to tell you about his feelings on the subject. Here goes!

Please allow me to begin by expressing my apologies for not getting around to this sooner. It’s all my fault, John and Anne asked me to comment a long time ago, but I got sidetracked. So blame me – not them.

So, thoughts on playing cross-gender characters. Please bear in mind, I am no expert on such things – and I’m purely shooting from the hip here…

First, I should say that one of the things I love about roleplaying, and tabletop especially, is the opportunity to explore characters and perspectives that differ significantly from myself. I suppose it’s also what interested me in theater as well, but theater, as a largely visual medium, is more limited. I’m a 6 foot plus, average to large build, white guy with brown hair and blue eyes – and while I could play Duncan, or a very tall Iago, it’s highly unlikely that I’ll ever play Lady Macbeth or even Othello.

Roleplaying, and tabletop especially, allows us to play characters that run the gambit of human experience. I can play young or old, rich or poor, criminal or law abiding, egalitarian or elitist, a different race, religion, nationality, or anything else – and rarely is this even commented on. To my mind, it seems strange that given this vast, and unlimited spectrum of diversity that we so often cut ourselves off from 50% of the human race by exclusively playing one gender.

That said, there are challenges in playing against type. First, it’s important that you approach the character, particularly in regard to their differences, with respect. Yes, sexism and racism are unfortunate realities in both our history and into the modern day, and perhaps, these will bleed through into certain situations confronted by the character during the game. However, using a character as a spring board to mock a different gender, race, etc. is ignorant and wrong. So, if you don’t think that you can play a different gender/race/etc. without making them the butt of every joke because of those differences – don’t do it.

Second, make sure that your gaming group is okay with this decision. I was fortunate that the group that I’m playing with was patient, understanding, and generally awesome – so there wasn’t too much of a reaction. However, if playing a different race or gender is going to cause a disruption in the group – you should probably avoid that too.

Third, and only because this is the internets. Figure out where you and your group draws the line regarding romantic entanglements. Personally, I’m much more of a “fade to black” type person.

Finally, whenever playing a character with fundamental differences from you – particularly in a historical context – you need to decide how this difference is going to impact your character. For example:

• How is the difference likely to impact your character’s interactions with others? As society progresses, we’ve become more egalitarian – however, in the 1800’s (the time period in which our game takes place) this was not the case. Everyone had a very clearly defined role based on their age, race, gender, marital status, etc. Ask yourself if your character fulfills the gender-role expected of them or do they rebel against it? If they do rebel – is this an internal struggle or an outward one? And how does your character cope with the consequences of their choice?
• How does your character view people differently as a result of being a different gender? Do they expect people to fulfill their gender-roles, even if the character isn’t doing so?
• Did your different gender impact your character’s ability to learn certain things (should you rethink portions of your character’s stats as a result of differences in opportunity) – and if so, did you overcome these barriers and if so, how and why? Does your character think they were fortunate for the opportunity to break through the barrier, or are they resentful because the barrier existed in the first place?
• Are there behavioral differences as a result of your character’s gender – based either on societal expectation or biology?

Many of these questions are things that you should likely be asking yourself anyway as part of your character creation process. However, because of a fundamental difference in your character – you should likely spend some additional time considering these issues as your “gut reaction” as a person, may not be the same as a result of this difference.

So yeah… those are my thoughts. Welcome the differences and the challenges/opportunities they provide, remain respectful and thoughtful. Good rules for life and for playing cross-gender characters in my limited experience.

Seph hit most of the high notes, so there's really not much more to say; the most important thing to keep in mind for playing a character of a different sex - or race, or religion, or anything else - is to make sure that you can do so meaningfully and respectfully. It's not just about not intentionally being offensive, but also about remembering that we all have strongly internalized stereotypes and gender roles that come from our upbringing and culture, so it's easy to be accidentally offensive as well. If you can't portray a different kind of character from yourself without reducing it down to stereotypes, you may want to think again. And, also important, examine why you want to play a different sex or gender, what you want to explore by doing so and how you hope to bring something new to your playing experience by doing it.

Basically, players who come into it with a vision, a firm character concept or a good reason to want to play a different sex or gender can do fun and meaningful things with it, but not every genderbent character concept is a good one; it's what John refers to as "advanced roleplaying". If you prefer to just build characters on the fly and run them through adventures without bothering much with deep personalities or subtext (which is a totally valid way to want to play, and nobody should feel like it isn't!), it's much more likely that your genderbent-on-a-whim character will either have no difference because you don't play the opposite sex any differently than you play your home one, or at worst will be offensive because you're not paying much attention to it and therefore have a higher chance to make thoughtless blunders that may upset others.

It's also absolutely true that the comfort and tolerance level of your fellow players and Storyteller are all-important; if there are people at the table who are of those other sexes (or races, or religions), they may be very sensitive to anything that looks like an offensive portrayal, and it also may be true that some players simply aren't comfortable with genderbending at the table at all. If any of that is true, you may want to avoid playing a different gender altogether, even if you think you'd really do the concept justice; if the players are uncomfortable and not having fun, you could be the most badass roleplayer in the universe and it'll still hurt the game overall. It never hurts to check with the Storyteller first or take the group's temperature before rolling in with a character concept that might potentially throw others off.

We'd also like to add that it's much easier to pull off different-sex character in an online game than a face-to-face one. When you play over the internet, you might as well be either sex anyway for all anybody can tell if you don't advertise your gender, and if you're playing it well it's likely that nobody will bat an eyelash. When you're in person, however, and you're actually looking at a person obviously of a different gender than the one they're playing, it can become harder to suspend disbelief or easier to pick out stereotypes or playstyles that make other players uncomfortable. It's odd indeed that we can handle the idea of playing PCs of different religions and occupations and races from our own with ease but that some Storytellers and players still tweak when confronted with the idea of playing a different gender, but the internet's veil of anonymity makes avoiding that a lot easier.

Playing a character of a different gender or sex can be a rewarding and interesting experience, both for the player doing it and the game it's done in. It's all about why and how you do it, however, and it's not always the best fit for every game. Use your judgment, talk to your group, and have an awesome time.