Extended Family

Question: In what unique ways does each pantheon ruin its childrens' lives?

Heh, I said that they all have them in jest in a previous post, but it's true: there are specific challenges for Scions in every pantheon that sometimes make them longingly wish they'd been born to gods halfway around the world.

Some are easy to pinpoint: the Aztlanti insistence on blood sacrifice freaks a lot of modern Scions right out, since killing people and feasting on their still-beating hearts is not exactly the kind of thing that most people in the current era find socially acceptable. Their emphasis on proper sexual and societal behavior is also archaic in the extreme for a lot of modern Scions, and their notoriously harsh punishments - death never goes out of style! - make them chafing for many.

Then there are the Dodekatheon, whose penchant for casual rape and incest, not to mention track record of vengeance-induced murder, is not exactly a selling point for them when it comes to modern Scions who find those kinds of things repugnant. They're also judgy. Very, very judgy.

The stifling court manners of the Amatsukami can be not only restrictive and antiquated for new Scions, but also downright incomprehensible; more than a few have put a single foot wrong and then been socially punished for it for years, often without even knowing what their offense was. There's very little upward mobility among the Japanese gods, who prize seniority and tradition, and Scions of the Celestial Bureaucracy have similar problems, facing literal miles of red tape to get anything done and laboring under the stressful realization that there are so many laws and layers of government that the odds are good they're always doing something wrong according to somebody who can make their lives hell for it.

Anunna arrogance can be positively off the charts, and while they might listen to their children and indulge them out of parental pride, they're just as likely (well, no, a lot more likely) to totally ignore them, no matter what they're saying or doing or how important they claim it is, simply because they're children and they clearly have no idea what they're talking about. They're so cute. Look at them, they think they're people!

The Tuatha come with their own built-in pantheon-specific hell when it comes to having to make sure their geasa don't get out of control, but their family's no picnic, either. Sure, they're awesome - they super fun! They love a good story and a nice round of alcohol and a good boasting and an oh my god, why is everyone just disembowling everyone else? what's happening? when did the Nemetondevos get here and why are they not helping even slightly?

The Yazata are brutal because you can't lie, ever, ever ever ever, or you face divine disapproval and retribution. Your wife does look fat in that dress, your boss's business plan is asinine bullshit, and your divine parent is being a douchebag. Your only hope is to shut up forever or accept that everyone is kind of going to hate you sometimes. God help you if you have poor Empathy skills. Oh, and don't think the Deva Scions are getting off easy, either - kids from both pantheons have inherited a nasty dispute with their neighbors that has been going on for so long that they have no hope of escaping it or even of really understanding what started it.

The Loa might be fine, except that A) everything they do with human cults and possession looks straight out of a horror movie to many middle-of-the-road modern Scions, and B) Vengeance. With a nice helping of C) insanity, since the king is kind of a psychopath and almost nobody in the pantheon is free of stories about frankly reprehensible behavior. The Pesedjet also might be fine, but in addition to sharing much of the Anunna snootiness toward silly young things, they also tend to leave their Scions twisting in the wind; after all, if the kid is worth his salt, he'll work it out on his own, right? And if he doesn't... oh, the aged disdain and disappointment.

And then, of course, there are the Aesir. What's that? You wanted to do something? You know, we would, but we're busy with Ragnarok right now. You have news? Can't talk right now, Ragnarok. You object to what we're doing? Too bad, has to be done because Ragnarok. You want to make different plans or strike out on your own? ARE YOU UNAWARE OF THE RAGNAROK? GET BACK OVER HERE AND GET UNDER THIS BUS CALLED RAGNAROK.

So, yeah. There are also distinct advantages to all the pantheons, and of course these are broad generalities that differ considerably depending on the Scion's personality and the specific godly parent involved, but in general, nobody's relations with their pantheon are ever an easy, stress-free ride. They're gods, and they're old, complicated and free of a lot of annoying morals and conscience issues that Scions have. There can't help but be conflicts.

Man, starting your own pantheon just looks better and better, doesn't it? Just think: in a few centuries, you can start having and torturing your own Scions with your idiosyncratic ways!