There were no posts this weekend because John and I were consumed with the wedding of two of our closest friends (also our players - Terminus and Aiona just got married in real life. Wrap your head around that idea). It was very lovely, even when we were doing things like running up and down ten flights of stairs, giving long-winded speeches or carrying six tuxedos down a dark alley at one o'clock in the morning.
I was struck, watching all the proceedings, by what a mythic, resonant event a marriage really is. It is an ancient constant for all of humanity, an event that has always been of significant importance, whether for celebration or solemnity. It represents the joining and coming together of two different things to create something new, and because of that primal representation, it's one of the mainstays of all mythologies. One of the oldest (possibly the oldest) poems ever written, The Courtship of Inanna and Dumuzi, is the story of the courting and eventual marriage of some of the first gods ever recorded in mankind's history, ancient Sumerian deities who eventually became Babylon's Ishtar and Tammuz. Every culture's values when it comes to marriage are different, from the steadfast faithfulness so lauded in the myth of Odysseus and Penelope to the fruitful fecundity of Izanagi and Izanami, but for every culture, the root importance of marriage is almost unequalled as a social convention.
And it's not just the obeying of laws or the production of children that marriage myths are concerned with; in many, the marriage symbolizes the two figures becoming one, literally inseparable and bound to one another in a symbiotic relationship. Mythically speaking, if something breaks up a marriage, it is a cataclysmic and tragic event, one that damages the natural order of things, often irreparably. When Hera leaves Zeus, he is unable to rest until he regains her, going so far as to create the Daedala festival in her honor to convince her to return. When Houyi loses Chang'e to the moon, both of them have literally lost half themselves, and she lives in eternally-described loneliness while he ends his life depressed and destitute. Tlaloc's angst at losing Xochiquetzal is so monumental that he literally destroys the world. That idea of an essential fusing, of two things becoming one thing forever (for the most obvious example of this, see one of the myths of Hermaphroditus' origin), is one of the most powerful symbols across the world.
Once in a while, people express surprise to me that marriage turns up as a theme in our Scion games. I am surprised by their surprise. Sure, Scion is about beating up the bad guys and attaining Ultimate Power, but it's also about myths, stories, and the way that humanity has always used those as a literary mirror of themselves. Why should it be odd for budding gods to have to deal with the prospect of marriage? After all, most gods of the pantheons they come from are married, and a large percentage of those have stories told about their marriages, ranging from the reverent to the hilarious. It'd be much weirder if our PCs, in the prime of their lives during most years of the game and surrounded by some of the most interesting and magnetic creatures in the universe, didn't tie the knot now and then.
So, a toast to our characters who have made that most fundamental myth a part of their own stories. To Sowiljr and Eztli, whose shotgun wedding has over the years grown into a strange and troubled but unshakably solid foundation of support between them. To Cora and Max, whose marriage survived the rigors of discovering their divine heritage and has never dimmed in passion. To Terminus and Circe, another shotgun wedding that has against all odds somehow managed not to devolve into curses and vengeance-fueled vendettas yet. To Jioni and Erebus, the most bizarre love match among gods or Titans. To Folkwardr and Ahouva, who married to satisfy local custom and gain a god's blessing, but who have become one of the most sane and touchingly responsible relationships across all characters. To Alison and Kane, too star-crossed to prevent their personalities from eventually leading them to mutual disaster.
And most of all to Tom and Jennie, two crazy players who we couldn't imagine playing games without. Make that single-souled journey together with as much adventure and passion as you bring to your characters, and bring us back something old and dangerous from the Mayan ruins while you're there.
As poetic as that is, marriage has a dark side, especially in mythology. In the most ancient times, marriage was a way for a man to lay claim to his wife as property and make sure she bread legitimate heirs. Wile the woman could be killed by sleeping with any man other than her husband, the man could have sex with any woman as long as she wasn't married (prostitutes, slaves, etc.) This was spread all thru-out the ancient world. The man had almost complete sexual freedom, while a married woman was chained to home and hearth under threat of punishment and death if she strayed. This is seen in mythology by the goddesses. Love and sex goddesses like Ishtar and Aphrodite were well known for sex outside of marriage, but they were seen as goddesses to be feared, and portrayed as divine bitches who brought doom to there lovers and had divine temper tantrums. Even faithful wives like Isis and Hera were portrayed as vindictive and scheming in pursuit of power. Hera particularly was portrayed as a monster who attacked Zeus's defenseless children and lovers instead of confronting him herself. As romantic as you portrayed marriage, do not forget that the ancient world was particularly a mans world. A man was free to cum and go as he pleased (pun intended) while the married woman (even goddesses of marriage) could do nothing to stop him and like Hera could only take there anger out on helpless people.
ReplyDeleteAll very true, and also happens all over the modern world also.
DeleteHowever, the point of celebration of anything, is not to focus on the bad things that could happen, but instead enjoy the great things that should happen.
When you celebrate the birth of a child, you dont focus on how x% of people grow up to be socipaths, or how x% will die before they're 18. You also dont worry about how horrible it'll be if the child ends up having to go to war, or has to become a cannibal to survive.
When you celebrate an event you reminisce upon all the wonderful feelings and emotions there are in the event, and the love and goodness that hopefully comes from it.
Yes, terrible things happen, but if you spend the good times worrying about the possibility of the bad, you will never be able to truly enjoy the good.
Also remember, that although there are near infinite stories of the gods infidelity, the general gist of most of them is that the infidelity is wrong. We should not look up to it as something to emulate, but rather as a warning of what not to do.
Because if you cheat on your wife, she will send horrible monsters at your out of wedlock children for their entire lives.
Or chop them up and feed them to you in a soup.
DeleteThat's what I was talking about. The man gets off Scott free because he is to powerful and entitled to rein in. You are looking at the past through modern eyes. I was not focusing on the bad, just relating the facts as they were. I am sure there were happy marriages and families, but men could have sex with whoever they wanted and there wives couldn't, and the wives had no say in the matter, which they mirrored in there gods. and I doubt Zeus gave much of a damn about any of his children or what Hera did to them. One interesting Scion story for young gods is to try to change that old world view of women, especially the middle eastern pantheons like the Yazata and the Annuna
ReplyDeleteYou can definitely get a lot of mileage out of marriages, happy or otherwise, in games, and out of the clash between modern feminism and ancient convention. Jioni's actually spending a lot of time trying to buck the male-dominated Loas' expectations and drag them screaming into the new world.
DeleteBut I think you're missing the point of my post - I'm not saying anything about feminism or the treatment of women. That's a whole other post (a series of posts, yet). I'm talking about how marriage is a very ancient, very universal convention across pretty much all cultures, and that it's such a powerful symbol that it can't help but be part of the mythologies of those cultures as well. I'm not saying marriage is always awesome; I'm saying it's always important. And it is, because if it weren't, nobody would care about things like infidelity.
You're certainly not wrong that historical civilizations gave women the short shrift. They did, in terms of expectations, rights and treatment (and in some parts of the world, people are still doing that to a shocking degree). But keep in mind that not every marriage in myth is miserable for the ladies, either - Penelope's a perfect example of a wife who is madly in love with her husband and whose only headaches come from the fact that he's off fighting a war instead of at home with her, and the Odyssey itself spends a great deal of ink extolling her wonderful qualities and praising her role as Odysseus' equal partner. They're not the majority, but they are there, and it's just as narrow a focus to ignore them as to ignore the imbalanced marriages that abound.
Weddings are always exciting, significant events in mythology, positively or negatively or both, and that's because humanity as a whole finds them exciting and significant, from ancient Babylonians reading the love poetry of Sin's courtship of Ningal right down to our friends getting married this last week.
Sorry for posting what I did in the first place. I wasn't trying to insult anybody. I guess I have a pessimestic view of marriage.
ReplyDeleteBetween my 2 parents I have 7 marriages. I generally have super negative view of marriage. So no worries, I understand. But its also important to see all the parts of ancient life. Yes, being a woman sucked a lot more then being a man did. And women got the short end of the stick in marriages, but that didnt necessarily mean that all marriages didnt work out or were horrible. A closed mind one way is as bad as a closed mind the other.
DeleteTrue. Besides Ishtar did have two husbands, and most of the myths I've read about the various gods said that babylonians enjoyed great sex inside marriage, and the gods seemed to by caring and devoted to there wives. Even Ishtar's various husbands seemed to put up with 99% of her crap with good humor.
DeleteYou know it's true love when you put up with Ishtar-level craziness. Or at least awesome, awesome sex.
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